"...Heaven sent, heavenly scent that later crippled me..."

I've only really gotten really personal with this blog once, at the beginning when I spoke on President Obama's victory back in November. That's because I wanted to keep this place as a space about what interested me, and things that I thought people would want to get put up on, particularly with the music.

Lately, though, I hadn't been listening to too much on my own, just for personal enjoyment and I thought it was because I just wasn't finding a lot worth listening to, but a conversation with a good friend of mine made me see things differently. Considering how much inspiration I get from music in writing, I started to realize that I'd been avoiding getting too deeply consumed with listening to music because I was afraid of what it would bring out of me.

I've been writing a lot of poetry lately, some of it for RPG supplemental material but a fair amount for myself as well, and music has played a large role in the output. In the past few weeks Blu and Exile have caused me to, for better or worse, reexamine some parts of my life that I thought I'd left well behind. Rather than blather on about the specifics, I'll let the tunes and the poems speak for themselves.

I do not want her to smile for only me.
A smile is the soul’s searchlight.
A beacon for the weary
To find a moment’s assuredness
In the middle of stormy seas
Or simply a confirmation
During a seemingly solitary journey
That a traveler is not alone.
Her smile is not mine to own.
It is a mobius strip of radiance
Where the beauty she gives the world
And the beauty the world gives to her coalesce.
It is impossible for a mortal
To hold such a phenomenon in his hands,
And only an evil man would try.
I would only hope,
That when she smiles
Whatever she holds from me,
In her heart
Is part of what’s shining out.


Exile - Love Line

Atrium
Ventricle
And all other associated parts
Spread out in front of me
In thin slices
On a platter of silver.
One by one,
I take each piece
Into my mouth
Letting each one settle
And melt across my tongue
Before moving on
To the next.
The textures vary
From piece to piece.
Some are buttery
And smooth like silk
As they dissipate.
Others require
Great gnashing
Of teeth and jaw
To process.
All in an effort
To bring together
These parts
One final time.
For when the stomach’s work
Is done
And they are all gone
There will be nothing left
But sleep
And dreams
Of the repast’s
More humble origins.


Blu - Amnesia

Bonus: Courtesy of Fresh Selects Blu coasts over the instrumental for "Love Line" and leaves me fiendin' for a follow up to Below The Heavens.

Blu vs. Exile - LoveLine(s),DedicatedToLastFe’vrier

Saul Williams - The Government

Since the event that sparked me to actually start this blog was the election that put our new administration into office, it'd only be right if I had something to say for today's inauguration. That's the trouble with words though, a lot of times they don't show up when you think they should. I can't really sort through everything I'm thinking to pluck out the right thing to say, so I'll just start with Saul Williams' thoughts on the day:

We have overcome.

Except those of us now in Gaza. Except those of us whom police kill. Except those of us who are suspects. Except those of us whom the church hate. Except those of us damned to taste good. Except those of us held by fate. We are meeting in the capitol. Word is, freedom will not wait.

All that once was never shall be.
All they could do won’t be done.
All we sang of is now happening.

[note to self:]
Must write
new songs
to become…

...And so it was. Through the collective imagination of the people, the force of will and human potential, and an unflinching ability to hold himself to task, Niggy Tardust was liberated. His ability to see beyond the boundaries and obstacles of 'genre', 'race', and suppression, allowed him to encompass a grace and sound that embodied the all. All that had stood against him, now stood with him. All that had claimed a lesser harmony, now craved voice and resonance. He stood with poets, painters, dancers, students, children of the night who had transformed themselves into a million bright ambassadors of morning, and proclaimed,

“We declare declaratives and deny the official. Based in the landmark of the G-spot, we have overtaken ourselves and overthrown our forefathers. Let there be light within the light and let it answer to the name of Darkness. We are forever risen from the deadly: the anti-virus and the All Stars. Granted power by forces unbeknownst to us. Made in the likeness of kindness. We offer anger to the angry and fear to the fearful. We dance at our own funerals to forsake the mourners…

…This is no time to cry! This is no time at all! Here is the moment of the overlooked and the unforeseeable. We are the elected officials of the people: poets and artists. We are the declarative statement of the inarticulate, the irreparably damaged goods of the bad meaning good. We are the government! We are the government! We are the government!”


Saul Williams - The Government

Ready to work.

So initially I had the idea to finally start my blog tonight, no matter what happened with the election. The post was going to be something along the lines of 'I voted for change' and that was going to connect to how not only so many people my age were ready for a change, but how I was ready for a change in my own life, etc. The turmoil the country's gone through the past few years mirrored the ups and downs I've gone through personally, etc. But when I got home from putting in my ballot I started to work on it...and it came off mad corny. So I just sat. Watched the results. Called my mom. Waited. And waited. Then once my roommate got home from work, the networks were calling it for Obama and McCain was getting ready to deliver his concession speech. So I wrote:

The body is weak
Atrophy threatens to settle in,
But even as the death knell did sound
And last rites were whispered
With reverence, and bowed head,
The chest heaved.
Veins pulsed.
Lungs rattled to life,
And we breathed.
With a shaky hand,
We reached out to our administrator
And requested:
“Pray not that I am prepared for the final journey, Father
Instead, pray for the strength needed
For the work yet to come.”


That's what I wanted to say. That I've felt like my country's been damn near on its last legs for a while. That I've felt like I've been on my last legs for a while. But tonight proved to me that we're not. We're still full of life and we've still got it in us to do something extraordinary.

I'm ready for the work that's yet to come.

On the headphones: Q-Tip feat. President Barack Obama - Shaka